The first step in learning how to be happy is to first accept that happiness is not dependent on another person.

There is only one person responsible for your happiness – you.

Happiness is taking 100% responsibility for everything in life.

Take responsibility for your achievements, the quality of your relationships, your health, your fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings – absolutely everything.

Sadly, some are conditioned to blame others for the parts of their lives they don’t like.

When life doesn’t go the way they want it to, some people try to blame their parents, their boss, their friends, their partner, the weather, the trains, anyone or anything they can pin the blame on.

They find it easier to blame the outside world than take responsibility for their life.

They try everything but blame themself.

Every experience in life, whether it be positive or negative, is based on how we respond to the world around us.

When we don’t like our experiences, we have two choices:

1. Blame the outside world for the situation we find ourselves in.

Sadly blaming is a waste of time.

No matter how much we blame the outside world, it will never change us.

We will never be happy as long as we blame someone or something else for our lack of happiness.

If we are going to learn how to be happy, we have to accept the truth, we have to take action, think positive thoughts, create positive feelings and make positive choices.

We have to give up complaining.

Complaining is based on the principle that there is something better out there.

If we didn’t believe there was something better, we wouldn’t complain.

Complaining is a waste of time because it doesn’t produce better results.

Remember, we only complain about things we can do something about but have chosen not to.
We can get a better job, find a better partner, make more money, live in a nicer house etc.

But all of these things require us to change.

But people don’t normally like change because change involves risks, and we are pre-programmed to avoid taking risks.

2. Change how we respond to the outside world.

Changing how we respond to events in our lives is how we learn how to be happy.

But humans are creatures of habit and we resist changing our behaviour.

We are a collection of conditioned responses programmed in our unconscious mind.

Our responses were programmed early in our lives and are reinforced every day by the way we respond to the events in our lives.

For every event that we need to respond to, our unconscious mind searches its memory bank of stored events to find the closest match to the current event.

When it finds the closest matches it then retrieves the associated response and emotional feelings that were stored alongside the memory of the event.

This saves us time and energy because we don’t need to constantly learn how to respond to every new event in our lives.

We just find the closest historical event and respond to the current event in the same way as the historical event.

Good or bad that’s the way we work.

But it’s never too late to start changing our responses.

We can regain control of our thoughts and behaviour by reprogramming our unconscious mind.

Hypnotherapy allows you to access your unconscious mind in a state of deep relaxation to re-programme those negative conditioned responses using positive suggestion therapy.

You lay down new neural pathways that allow you to respond differently in the future.

Rather than teach yourself not to act in a certain way you train yourself to react positively.

It is always about the positive intention.

Everything we experience today is the result of the choices we made in the past.

We need to rediscover what our purpose is, what our values are and what our real goals are.

Then we can permanently change our responses to the world around us.

If your day isn’t going the way you had planned it, then you can either blame someone or something or change your response.

If the external world did control your life, then it would control everyone’s life, but that simply isn’t the case.

Not everyone is having a bad day.

The next time you are on a train that is running late, look around.

Not everyone will be having a bad day.

It is thinking positive or negative thoughts that make the difference.

When all is said and done, it is just a matter of attitude and behaviour that create our different experiences.

To be happy gain control over:
[1] your thoughts
[2] the images you visualise
[3] the actions you take

How you use your thoughts, visualisations, and actions affects everything you experience.

How To Be Happy – Change Your Response.

You need to take a radical approach. Don’t change just one to two things. If you want to see a difference, change everything that plays a part in your conditioned response.

Look at changing your:

• negative thoughts to positive thoughts
• what you daydream about
• your habits
• what you read
• your friends
• how you talk to people
• how you talk to yourself

Change whatever needs changing. And don’t be scared of change. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

There is a famous saying:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Some say that insanity can be defined as:
“continuing the same behaviour and expecting a different result“.

When you think about the last one, it is just bonkers!
But how many of us are guilty of it every day?

If you’re a smoker and keep on smoking, you’re not going to quit smoking.
So, if you continue with your current behaviours, your life is not going to get any better.
It will just stay the same.

The day you start to change your responses, is the day your life starts to get better.
If you want something different, you need to do something different.

To find happiness, you must believe that you either cause or allow everything to happen to you.
Realise that you don’t have to be a victim and passively stand by and let things happen to you.
Accept you permit things to happen to you or your actions cause your experiences.

Nothing just happens to you.

Every day you receive warning signals, little telltale signs, comments from others, get a gut instinct or feel something intuitively. They all alert you and give you time to change the outcome.

Many of us ignore these warning signs because it requires us to change and do something uncomfortable.
Our unconscious mind convinces us to deny there is a problem and we carry on as normal because it is easier to avoid that confrontation, and to maintain the status quo, all of which prevent you from taking risks.

So if you want to be happy you need to face facts.
You need to take the uncomfortable action to create the desired outcome.
When you start to take uncomfortable actions, it gets easier to take them again the next time.
You start to see improvements in your life which give you the confidence to take the actions again when necessary.

Learn to replace the negative self-talk of:
“nothing ever good happens to me” with “I am in control and can make things happen“.

Be focused, disciplined, try new things and take risks.

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

• What is working and what can I do more of?
• What am I doing that isn’t working?
• Is there anything I need to do less of?
• What am I not doing that I need to start doing?
• How am I creating or allowing things to happen to me?

You need to stop judging yourself, believe that the changes you want to take will be effective and just have a go.
You won’t know if it works until you try!
And remember, no one can do it for you.
Only you can do it for yourself.

The golden rule is simple: do more of what is working, do less of what isn’t working and experiment with new behaviours to see if they produce even better results.

But don’t lie to yourself.
Be ruthlessly honest and take risks.

If you want to find out how hypnotherapy can help you learn how to be happy by taking total responsibility for everything that happens in your life, get in touch to book your free consultation.